mum is at wits end when it comes to dealing with zoe. i simply feel that i suck at being a mum. to have screaming matches with a 4 going on 5 girl is simply unbelievable.
yes, mum is exasperated to no end. she can't seem to take instructions. not even simple ones like showering, brushing her teeth or even peeing. mum has to tell her to go do it again and again before she does it. by then, its no longer, 'zoe, can you please go pee', it would already have erupted ínto shouts of, 'go pee/shower/brush your teeth NOW!!!' to which it would be matched with stomping feet, scowling face and hands clenched up like a monster before THE deed is done. what follows next would be a lecture by mum followed by a total ignorance to the girl, regardless of whether she is sorry or not. most times, mum doubts her apologies for she does not say them until she wants something in return, like mum's hand to hug her to bed or worst, she wants a new toy or something. basically, she thinks we can be easily manipulated. maybe she will succeed when it comes to the daddy or ah ma, but to mummy who faces her most of the time, NO WAY. mum feels she's unrepentent, and even unappreciative of everything that she has or the things the parents have done for her.
yes, though it seems rather evil to ignore the girl, but that seems to be the best way for mum to retain her sanity. at the very least, she seems to be most repentent when she is being ignored. most times, mum will try her best to be nice and talk to her nicely and explain things to her, but then, it never seems to get into that head of hers! the above scenarios have repeated itself more than a dozen times and it is being played out, day in, day out. out comes that attitude. out comes the scowl. out comes the glare in her eyes. mum wishes those eyes can be gorged out. its true pek chek-ness and a constant test of mum's patience and limit everyday. nothing seems to work. not explaining, not sweet talking, nor scolding, nor caning. makes one wonder if there is another more horrible mother like me...
Abba Daddy, i really am at my wits end. i need a miracle. i need You to work wonders. i know not what to do or how to deal with her. thank you that in spite of everything, i am still Your Beloved and that you will never leave me nor forsake me ever. thank you that there is no more condemnation in me who is in Christ Jesus. show me your way Lord. i really cannot go about my human efforts anymore, its much too tough. but You can Lord God Almighty. You know the way. i now cast all my cares and worries about the children into your hands Lord, that You will lead them and show them and me the way. My children will be taught of you. i do not know how to teach them, but you can Lord. its easier to put my trust in you than in my own efforts because You never fail, and only You can bring about a true transformation in us. thank you that we are forever righteous in Christ Jesus and that my yolk is easy and my burden is light. in Jesus most wonderful name, AMEN and AMEN!!!
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